1 00:00:56,616 --> 00:01:01,616 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver 2 00:01:03,589 --> 00:01:05,591 [foreboding music] 3 00:01:44,362 --> 00:01:45,564 [birds squawk] 4 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:28,106 [Abigail] Tuesday, January 1st, 1856. 5 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,584 Fair and very cold. 6 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,489 This morning, 7 00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:46,391 ice in our bedroom for the first time all winter. 8 00:02:56,402 --> 00:02:59,103 [distant shouting] 9 00:03:04,175 --> 00:03:07,479 [sheep bleating] 10 00:03:26,264 --> 00:03:27,700 [Abigail] The water froze on the potatoes 11 00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:29,435 as soon as they were washed. 12 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:34,673 With little pride, and less hope, 13 00:03:35,774 --> 00:03:37,342 we begin the new year. 14 00:03:37,876 --> 00:03:40,879 [humming] 15 00:03:40,913 --> 00:03:42,047 [Abigail] On the porch after sunup, 16 00:03:42,081 --> 00:03:44,416 I could hear the low chirping of sparrows 17 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:47,185 in the hedgerows that are now buried in the snow. 18 00:03:57,663 --> 00:03:58,697 [sniffle] 19 00:04:03,902 --> 00:04:06,572 [utensils clinking] 20 00:04:08,407 --> 00:04:10,609 [fire crackling] 21 00:04:16,949 --> 00:04:19,585 [chickens clucking] 22 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:27,291 [Abigail] Dyer has maintained that with good health, 23 00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:28,961 and a level head, 24 00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:30,629 there is always an excellent chance 25 00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:32,330 for a farmer willing to work. 26 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:49,347 He feels he can never fully rid himself of his burdens. 27 00:04:50,983 --> 00:04:54,486 And I'm certain that because his mind is in such a bad state, 28 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,354 it affects his whole system. 29 00:04:58,490 --> 00:04:59,525 [sniffing] 30 00:05:01,026 --> 00:05:02,461 [door creaking] 31 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,699 [cows mooing] 32 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,316 [Abigail] He told me this morning 33 00:05:25,349 --> 00:05:28,620 that contentment was like a friend he never gets to see. 34 00:05:29,922 --> 00:05:31,490 You're late with the milking. 35 00:05:31,523 --> 00:05:32,691 She wasn't suffering. 36 00:05:34,325 --> 00:05:35,359 And you? 37 00:05:43,535 --> 00:05:44,636 [crows cawing] 38 00:05:49,508 --> 00:05:52,811 [Abigail] Since our acquisition of this farm, 39 00:05:52,845 --> 00:05:56,415 my husband had kept a ledger to help him see the year whole. 40 00:05:58,016 --> 00:06:00,384 This way he knows what each crop 41 00:06:00,419 --> 00:06:03,489 and field pays from year to year. 42 00:06:03,522 --> 00:06:06,759 And Dyer has asked me to keep a diary of matters 43 00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:09,327 that might otherwise go overlooked... 44 00:06:11,964 --> 00:06:15,399 From tools lent out to bills outstanding. 45 00:06:17,368 --> 00:06:18,804 That I have done. 46 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,777 But there would be no record in these dull and simple pages 47 00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:26,712 of the most passionate circumstances 48 00:06:26,745 --> 00:06:28,346 of our seasons past. 49 00:06:28,981 --> 00:06:31,349 [fire crackling] 50 00:06:31,382 --> 00:06:33,952 No record of our emotions or fears. 51 00:06:35,053 --> 00:06:36,688 Our greatest joys. 52 00:06:37,723 --> 00:06:39,658 Our most piercing sorrows. 53 00:06:49,735 --> 00:06:52,070 With our child, 54 00:06:52,104 --> 00:06:54,573 it was as if I'd found my bearings. 55 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,978 But I too rarely told her that she was our treasure. 56 00:07:02,614 --> 00:07:03,682 Would you like to try? 57 00:07:07,452 --> 00:07:08,787 Like this, papa? 58 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,090 That's it. 59 00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:17,062 [Abigail] She often seemed separate from us, 60 00:07:17,095 --> 00:07:20,732 as if she was working at just fitting in where she could. 61 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,937 They saw his brothers and sisters 62 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:26,939 and they were the mouse's family... 63 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,409 [Abigail] There is something so affecting 64 00:07:30,442 --> 00:07:32,778 about mute and motionless grief and illness 65 00:07:32,811 --> 00:07:34,446 in a child so young. 66 00:07:34,479 --> 00:07:37,783 - [coughing] - [heavy breathing] 67 00:07:37,816 --> 00:07:40,619 She put her arms around me and said nothing else. 68 00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:47,391 But it felt like we were speaking. 69 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,839 [thud] 70 00:08:00,873 --> 00:08:04,776 - [strained breathing] - [soft singing] 71 00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:18,757 [humming] 72 00:08:46,852 --> 00:08:48,086 [deep sigh] 73 00:08:51,957 --> 00:08:53,892 [distant sobbing] 74 00:08:57,763 --> 00:09:00,632 [ominous music] 75 00:10:15,173 --> 00:10:17,275 [Abigail] I have become my grief. 76 00:10:22,614 --> 00:10:25,250 I have become my grief. 77 00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:29,154 [church bell tolling] 78 00:10:30,622 --> 00:10:32,891 [Abigail] "Welcome sweet day of rest", 79 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,694 says the hymn. 80 00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:40,665 And Sunday is most welcome for its few hours of quiet ease. 81 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:42,934 As for me. 82 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,670 I no longer attend. 83 00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:49,841 After the calamity of Nellie's loss, 84 00:10:50,976 --> 00:10:53,045 what calm I enjoy 85 00:10:53,078 --> 00:10:56,581 does not derive from the notion of a better world to come. 86 00:11:00,652 --> 00:11:02,621 I want to purchase an atlas. 87 00:11:04,756 --> 00:11:06,758 - [man 1] It could be a bother. - [man 2] No, no. No bother. 88 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:11,696 - [horses huffing] - [wood creaking] 89 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:17,969 Who is that? 90 00:11:18,904 --> 00:11:19,971 [Dyer] His name is Finney. 91 00:11:21,173 --> 00:11:23,909 - His wife Tallie. - Hyah! 92 00:11:23,942 --> 00:11:25,043 [Dyer] I met them at the feed store. 93 00:11:25,077 --> 00:11:26,778 They seem to keep to themselves. 94 00:11:29,281 --> 00:11:30,949 They're renting the Zebrun farm. 95 00:11:35,787 --> 00:11:37,956 [gentle music] 96 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,332 [Abigail] Monday, February 4th. 97 00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:51,837 Why is ink like fire? 98 00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:53,271 [deep sigh] 99 00:11:53,305 --> 00:11:54,940 Because it is a good servant, 100 00:11:55,907 --> 00:11:57,410 and a hard master. 101 00:11:57,443 --> 00:11:58,710 [grinding] 102 00:12:03,315 --> 00:12:04,649 Did you say something? 103 00:12:06,985 --> 00:12:08,820 I want to purchase an atlas. 104 00:12:16,394 --> 00:12:18,830 I suppose there are more frivolous purchases 105 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:19,898 one could make. 106 00:12:26,405 --> 00:12:28,039 I've saved 90 cents of my own. 107 00:12:28,073 --> 00:12:30,275 I can't imagine a better way to spend it. 108 00:12:34,179 --> 00:12:36,081 Could buy your husband a gift. 109 00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,254 What better gift could I give him 110 00:12:42,287 --> 00:12:44,389 than a wife who is no longer a dullard? 111 00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:50,862 [Abigail] My self-education 112 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,899 seems the only way to keep my unhappiness 113 00:12:53,932 --> 00:12:55,267 from overwhelming me. 114 00:13:00,939 --> 00:13:02,874 [pigs grunting] 115 00:13:07,112 --> 00:13:09,381 [somber music] 116 00:13:22,394 --> 00:13:25,764 [pigs squealing] 117 00:13:40,345 --> 00:13:41,346 [squelches] 118 00:14:07,939 --> 00:14:09,074 Good afternoon. 119 00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:15,113 I've been using a broom on my porch. 120 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,248 The snow is so dry. 121 00:14:19,251 --> 00:14:20,252 I'm Tallie. 122 00:14:22,254 --> 00:14:23,288 Abigail. 123 00:14:27,025 --> 00:14:28,293 I hope I'm not intruding. 124 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:29,894 No. 125 00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:32,431 I just, I needed to get away for the day. 126 00:14:32,465 --> 00:14:34,266 The farm is a slaughterhouse right now. 127 00:14:34,299 --> 00:14:35,934 My husband is killing his hogs. 128 00:14:41,239 --> 00:14:42,408 Would you like to come in? 129 00:14:43,476 --> 00:14:44,776 Yes, I'd love that. 130 00:14:48,614 --> 00:14:51,082 Or we could just stay out on the porch, shivering. 131 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,322 I know it's the dullest of all things 132 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,890 to have an ignorant neighbor come by 133 00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:00,493 and spoil a Sunday afternoon. 134 00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,360 Oh, no, you're the most welcome here. 135 00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:04,863 But I know the feeling. 136 00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:07,533 Sometimes, I imagine during the Widow Weldon's visits 137 00:15:07,566 --> 00:15:11,336 that I've been plunged up to my eyes in a vat of the prosaic. 138 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,004 Oh, Widow Weldon! 139 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:14,607 She got going on the county levy once... 140 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,342 [Abigail] She saw I had noticed her hair, 141 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,078 and admitted she had been vain about it as a girl. 142 00:15:20,111 --> 00:15:23,014 She said that back then, she'd worn it longer 143 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,950 and plaited in a bun at the back of her head. 144 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:31,323 In the winter sun through the window, 145 00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:34,225 her skin had an underflush of rose and violet 146 00:15:34,259 --> 00:15:38,063 which so disconcerted me that I had to look away. 147 00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:44,069 As always, 148 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:46,938 when it came to speaking 149 00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:50,875 and attempting to engage another's affections, 150 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:54,480 circumstances doomed me to striving and anxiety. 151 00:15:56,314 --> 00:16:00,453 From my earliest youth, I was like a pot-bound root, 152 00:16:00,486 --> 00:16:02,887 all curled in upon itself. 153 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,090 I hope I'm not keeping you from something. 154 00:16:05,123 --> 00:16:06,124 No. 155 00:16:09,027 --> 00:16:10,228 I'm glad you've come. 156 00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:14,933 Finney saw your husband at the cooperage. 157 00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:17,369 He mentioned his new method for farrowing his piglets. 158 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:21,507 With some asperity? 159 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,075 My husband mentions everything with some asperity. 160 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,213 I told him that once, 161 00:16:29,247 --> 00:16:30,449 and... 162 00:16:30,483 --> 00:16:32,984 he observed in response that it seemed to be quite a favor 163 00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:34,487 to get a kind word from me. 164 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,321 And I told him that if he was married to himself, 165 00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:38,390 he'd soon find out what a favor it was. 166 00:16:38,424 --> 00:16:40,058 [soft laugh] 167 00:16:40,091 --> 00:16:41,494 My mother always said that having children 168 00:16:41,527 --> 00:16:43,027 would resolve that dilemma. 169 00:16:44,162 --> 00:16:45,997 My mother made the same claim. 170 00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:49,602 And yet... 171 00:16:50,669 --> 00:16:51,970 Here we are... 172 00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:54,673 Both childless. 173 00:16:56,575 --> 00:16:59,210 [fire crackling] 174 00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:01,480 My daughter, Nellie, would have been five today. 175 00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:05,518 Oh. 176 00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:06,918 How did she pass? 177 00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,490 Diphtheria. 178 00:17:11,524 --> 00:17:12,691 Last September. 179 00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,060 I'm so sorry. 180 00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:18,396 [door opens] 181 00:17:23,736 --> 00:17:25,170 - Hello. - Oh. 182 00:17:25,638 --> 00:17:26,639 Good afternoon. 183 00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:28,339 I'm Dyer. 184 00:17:29,642 --> 00:17:30,643 Tallie. 185 00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:38,451 Oh, it's late, isn't it? I should be getting on. 186 00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:42,020 Don't go on my account. 187 00:17:42,053 --> 00:17:43,087 Oh, no. 188 00:17:45,458 --> 00:17:47,158 That's a nice wrap you have. 189 00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,993 Thank you. 190 00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,095 I never receive compliments for my clothes. 191 00:17:53,466 --> 00:17:54,667 [Dyer coughing] 192 00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:58,136 I'm so glad you've come. 193 00:17:58,169 --> 00:17:59,605 Meeting you has made my day. 194 00:18:00,338 --> 00:18:01,339 It has? 195 00:18:02,408 --> 00:18:04,108 Well... 196 00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:07,145 How pleasant and uncommon it is to make someone's day. 197 00:18:08,514 --> 00:18:11,382 Thursday, February 14th. 198 00:18:13,452 --> 00:18:15,521 Dyer's third night with the fever. 199 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:18,189 [heavy coughing] 200 00:18:19,425 --> 00:18:20,493 Drink this. 201 00:18:21,259 --> 00:18:23,328 [Dyer coughing] 202 00:18:37,676 --> 00:18:39,678 I plan on getting sick more often. 203 00:18:41,547 --> 00:18:43,248 My wife smiles at me. 204 00:18:48,621 --> 00:18:52,257 [coughing continues] 205 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,025 Promise me you're not gonna die. 206 00:18:55,528 --> 00:18:57,228 [deep breath] 207 00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,632 That would be the opposite of my intention. 208 00:19:06,237 --> 00:19:07,473 [Abigail] I've restored him somewhat 209 00:19:07,506 --> 00:19:09,240 with an enema of molasses, 210 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,776 warm water and lard. 211 00:19:12,478 --> 00:19:15,447 Also a drop of turpentine next to his nose. 212 00:19:18,717 --> 00:19:22,387 I spent the day reconsidering my conversation with Tallie. 213 00:19:24,389 --> 00:19:27,158 We compared childhood beds... 214 00:19:27,191 --> 00:19:28,293 Mine in which the straw 215 00:19:28,326 --> 00:19:31,430 was always breaking up and thinning out. 216 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:34,667 And hers, which was as hard, she claimed, 217 00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,402 as the Pharaoh's heart. 218 00:19:40,506 --> 00:19:42,273 [Dyer] I should be taking care of you. 219 00:19:43,676 --> 00:19:44,677 I agree. 220 00:19:46,679 --> 00:19:48,747 [soft giggling] 221 00:19:52,585 --> 00:19:56,555 [Abigail] Her manner is sweet and calm and gracious. 222 00:19:56,589 --> 00:19:58,490 And yet her spirits seem to quicken 223 00:19:58,524 --> 00:20:01,359 at the prospect of further conversation with me. 224 00:20:03,929 --> 00:20:06,264 I find that everything I wish to tell her 225 00:20:06,297 --> 00:20:09,133 loses its eloquence in her presence. 226 00:20:11,737 --> 00:20:14,372 So how did you come to meet Dyer? 227 00:20:14,406 --> 00:20:16,307 He was the oldest son of a neighbor. 228 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:18,142 He helped out on my father's farm. 229 00:20:19,243 --> 00:20:21,379 And was he instantly smitten by you? 230 00:20:21,413 --> 00:20:22,715 [scoffs] 231 00:20:22,748 --> 00:20:23,882 He was, wasn't he? 232 00:20:23,916 --> 00:20:25,718 He was instantly smitten by you. 233 00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:34,392 He admired what he viewed as my practical good sense. 234 00:20:34,426 --> 00:20:37,863 You don't countenance words like "smitten", do you? 235 00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:40,198 I suspect I use all the same words you do. 236 00:20:40,231 --> 00:20:42,367 I suspect you don't. 237 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,168 In speech, yes, because you're shy. 238 00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,904 But I bet you're more accomplished in your writing. 239 00:20:51,577 --> 00:20:52,578 Thank you. 240 00:20:54,847 --> 00:20:58,316 Your good sense, that's all your husband was smitten with? 241 00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:03,154 And my efficient habits. 242 00:21:04,288 --> 00:21:05,323 That's all? 243 00:21:05,858 --> 00:21:07,325 My handy ways. 244 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,432 Dyer likes mechanical things. 245 00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:17,436 I have no doubt he would've been happier 246 00:21:17,469 --> 00:21:18,871 had he been allowed to pursue 247 00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:21,774 the natural scientific bent of his mind. 248 00:21:21,807 --> 00:21:23,942 Circumstances forced him into farming. 249 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:28,947 And despite all of that, his heart compelled him to you? 250 00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:34,352 Well... 251 00:21:34,385 --> 00:21:37,388 You would have to ask him about that. 252 00:21:37,423 --> 00:21:39,257 And what would you say if I asked you? 253 00:21:49,468 --> 00:21:51,870 I suppose that as a suitor, he was... 254 00:21:52,971 --> 00:21:55,941 not generous, but he was just. 255 00:21:55,974 --> 00:21:59,277 And that he was affectionate, if not constant. 256 00:22:08,420 --> 00:22:10,354 I wasn't sure of his suitability. 257 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,295 But my family felt that more improving 258 00:22:17,328 --> 00:22:18,396 might be in the offing. 259 00:22:20,566 --> 00:22:23,435 After all, it is a long lane that has no turning. 260 00:22:28,907 --> 00:22:31,577 You both have much to be thankful for. 261 00:22:34,580 --> 00:22:35,614 We do. 262 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,034 It's still too soon. 263 00:22:59,705 --> 00:23:00,572 Sorry. 264 00:23:00,606 --> 00:23:03,609 [Abigail] Tuesday, February 19th. 265 00:23:04,810 --> 00:23:07,579 [deep breath] 266 00:23:11,617 --> 00:23:15,754 My reluctance seems to have become his shame. 267 00:23:15,788 --> 00:23:19,725 His nighttime pleasures, which were never numerous, 268 00:23:19,758 --> 00:23:22,494 have curtailed even more. 269 00:23:22,528 --> 00:23:26,364 And I have so far refused to engage his persistence 270 00:23:26,397 --> 00:23:28,366 on the subject of another child. 271 00:24:02,968 --> 00:24:03,969 [Dyer] Evening. 272 00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:06,738 [Tallie] This is my husband Finney. 273 00:24:06,772 --> 00:24:07,806 And you already know Dyer. 274 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:08,874 Our paths have crossed. 275 00:24:08,907 --> 00:24:11,476 And this is the Abigail that I've been mentioning. 276 00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:13,545 My wife talks about you as if you're all about the house, 277 00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:14,780 and everything reminds her of you. 278 00:24:14,813 --> 00:24:17,816 Oh, well, it's all I can do but sit cross-legged and morose 279 00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:18,884 whenever she's away. 280 00:24:20,485 --> 00:24:22,554 - Come in. - Thank you. 281 00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:25,356 The rain so heavy that it broke down our mill. 282 00:24:29,661 --> 00:24:30,696 Did you miss me? 283 00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:32,965 Yes. 284 00:24:34,533 --> 00:24:35,667 You look different. 285 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,003 No... 286 00:24:38,036 --> 00:24:39,104 [soft laugh] 287 00:24:41,173 --> 00:24:42,741 Finney seems agreeable. 288 00:24:45,644 --> 00:24:47,446 Yes, he is, when he chooses to be. 289 00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:53,919 [deep breath] 290 00:24:56,555 --> 00:24:57,823 [chuckles] 291 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:03,962 [Finney] I guess I'm supposed to offer a toast. 292 00:25:03,996 --> 00:25:05,230 But when it comes to the social graces, 293 00:25:05,264 --> 00:25:08,200 I'm about as smooth as coming down a rocky hill in the dark. 294 00:25:08,233 --> 00:25:09,935 What my husband means is he's so happy 295 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:11,103 to finally get together, 296 00:25:11,136 --> 00:25:12,571 and to see Dyer again. 297 00:25:14,172 --> 00:25:15,407 [clinking] 298 00:25:15,841 --> 00:25:16,909 Cheers. 299 00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,579 Part of what I value about my wife 300 00:25:20,612 --> 00:25:23,015 is how she taught me to associate with my fellow beings. 301 00:25:28,020 --> 00:25:30,122 Finney, that's a handsome neck tie you've chosen. 302 00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:31,924 Thank you. 303 00:25:31,957 --> 00:25:33,091 But with my neck, 304 00:25:33,125 --> 00:25:35,827 my head sticks out like a chicken in a poultry wagon. 305 00:25:35,861 --> 00:25:37,195 Your tart was wonderfully savory. 306 00:25:37,229 --> 00:25:38,864 Oh, did you like it? I'm so glad. 307 00:25:38,897 --> 00:25:40,065 I was worried I wouldn't have enough eggs 308 00:25:40,098 --> 00:25:42,601 - because we had an accident. - Oh. 309 00:25:42,634 --> 00:25:45,470 My hired hand pulled down a box of eggs and broke two dozen. 310 00:25:45,504 --> 00:25:47,139 I announced that he was unlucky to eggs 311 00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:49,074 and no longer allowed to approach them. 312 00:25:49,107 --> 00:25:52,077 "Unlucky to eggs." I like that. 313 00:25:52,110 --> 00:25:54,746 I told him that his shirt had so many holes, 314 00:25:54,780 --> 00:25:56,515 he can make a necklace of it. 315 00:25:56,548 --> 00:25:59,718 Well, we often wish we could afford a hired hand. 316 00:25:59,751 --> 00:26:01,987 We've suffered a great deal from the carelessness of hired hands. 317 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,022 Mr. Holt's hired hand is said to have swum his horse 318 00:26:04,056 --> 00:26:05,824 over the canal despite the cold. 319 00:26:05,857 --> 00:26:06,858 Really? 320 00:26:07,993 --> 00:26:09,661 Yes. 321 00:26:09,695 --> 00:26:10,862 Winter's been so hard, 322 00:26:10,896 --> 00:26:12,164 sometimes Mrs. Weldon's son 323 00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:14,800 has had to deliver the mail on skis. 324 00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:17,602 Now our letters can get lost at breakneck speed. 325 00:26:17,636 --> 00:26:19,871 Did you write letters to Tallie when you were courting? 326 00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:22,207 I did. 327 00:26:25,143 --> 00:26:26,545 And did Tallie keep them? 328 00:26:29,781 --> 00:26:31,249 Only Tallie knows for sure. 329 00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:34,519 [fire crackling] 330 00:26:39,124 --> 00:26:41,793 [Abigail] Monday, February 25th. 331 00:26:41,827 --> 00:26:43,595 - [man shouting] - [sheep bleating] 332 00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:56,575 Finney and Tallie's bond confounds me. 333 00:26:58,276 --> 00:27:00,145 At times, when their eyes meet, 334 00:27:00,178 --> 00:27:04,750 they seem yoked in opposition to one another, 335 00:27:04,783 --> 00:27:07,986 while at other times, there seems a shared regard. 336 00:27:10,355 --> 00:27:12,290 There is something going on between us 337 00:27:12,324 --> 00:27:13,925 that I cannot unravel. 338 00:27:17,596 --> 00:27:18,597 Hold this here. 339 00:27:25,737 --> 00:27:26,772 Okay. 340 00:27:39,718 --> 00:27:40,719 Thank you. 341 00:28:02,074 --> 00:28:03,108 [door slams] 342 00:28:06,344 --> 00:28:07,579 Hello, Dyer. 343 00:28:08,647 --> 00:28:09,648 Well, hello. 344 00:28:10,215 --> 00:28:11,783 You're off? 345 00:28:11,817 --> 00:28:13,018 Yes, to town. 346 00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:15,720 Have a good day. 347 00:28:16,688 --> 00:28:17,923 She'll be pleased to see you. 348 00:28:18,723 --> 00:28:21,026 [cows mooing] 349 00:28:24,229 --> 00:28:25,230 [knocking] 350 00:28:28,934 --> 00:28:30,202 Happy birthday! 351 00:28:33,004 --> 00:28:34,306 Brought you some things. 352 00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:39,778 Hand-knitted? 353 00:28:40,413 --> 00:28:41,913 I hoped you'd like them. 354 00:28:41,947 --> 00:28:42,981 I do. 355 00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:51,056 An Atlas! 356 00:28:56,294 --> 00:28:58,296 The United States of America. 357 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,336 Oh and a little pot of apple sauce with an egg on top. 358 00:29:10,375 --> 00:29:11,910 My feet are freezing. 359 00:29:11,943 --> 00:29:13,211 Oh, let me warm them. 360 00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:19,251 [dog barking] 361 00:29:26,024 --> 00:29:27,025 How's Finney? 362 00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:30,061 He's Finney. 363 00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:43,409 Ah, it tickles. 364 00:29:49,482 --> 00:29:53,385 [metal clanking] 365 00:29:53,419 --> 00:29:56,154 My husband records trespassers in his journals. 366 00:29:57,822 --> 00:29:59,391 And this morning, when I asked him 367 00:29:59,425 --> 00:30:01,059 what he intends to do about them, 368 00:30:01,092 --> 00:30:03,261 his response was so unpleasant that I... 369 00:30:04,463 --> 00:30:05,931 resolved to visit you... 370 00:30:08,033 --> 00:30:09,734 so that there would be something in my day 371 00:30:09,768 --> 00:30:11,102 other than his meanness. 372 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:17,842 Dyer thinks he has many estimable qualities. 373 00:30:17,876 --> 00:30:19,077 [Tallie] He does. 374 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:22,047 And he also uses a ledger to keep accounting of whom I visit 375 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,248 and how long I stay. 376 00:30:23,281 --> 00:30:24,517 Why? 377 00:30:24,550 --> 00:30:26,084 I have no idea. 378 00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:27,520 As he's gotten more like this, 379 00:30:27,553 --> 00:30:29,354 I've given up trying to figure out 380 00:30:29,387 --> 00:30:31,389 all the peculiarities of his... 381 00:30:33,024 --> 00:30:34,326 odd little world. 382 00:30:38,330 --> 00:30:41,366 I suppose he's especially unhappy with me since... 383 00:30:43,401 --> 00:30:45,170 I'm yet to give him a child. 384 00:30:53,446 --> 00:30:54,980 What does it feel like? 385 00:30:57,249 --> 00:30:58,950 Like nothing at first. 386 00:31:00,051 --> 00:31:02,988 But then when she began to stir... 387 00:31:03,021 --> 00:31:05,257 it's like butterflies flapping their wings. 388 00:31:07,493 --> 00:31:10,028 Later, like a rabbit... 389 00:31:10,061 --> 00:31:11,930 when she kicked her legs at night. 390 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,801 It frightens me. 391 00:31:22,475 --> 00:31:24,276 The thought of having none of that. 392 00:31:30,315 --> 00:31:31,450 And of giving birth. 393 00:31:32,518 --> 00:31:34,319 Most of us feel that way. 394 00:31:37,255 --> 00:31:38,256 But... 395 00:31:39,458 --> 00:31:42,827 when the time comes, I will be there... 396 00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:44,129 to guide you through it. 397 00:31:52,904 --> 00:31:54,339 Dyer must want another child. 398 00:32:01,346 --> 00:32:02,380 I understand. 399 00:32:03,982 --> 00:32:05,584 [wind whooshing] 400 00:32:11,990 --> 00:32:14,460 [horse neighing] 401 00:32:36,081 --> 00:32:37,082 [door slams] 402 00:32:38,283 --> 00:32:39,351 Birthday gifts. 403 00:32:41,654 --> 00:32:44,222 [heavy breathing] 404 00:32:51,697 --> 00:32:53,231 A box of raisins. 405 00:32:54,633 --> 00:32:56,502 That needle case you've been needing. 406 00:32:56,535 --> 00:32:58,103 And a tin of sardines. 407 00:32:59,003 --> 00:33:00,004 You spoil me. 408 00:33:02,641 --> 00:33:05,977 Oh, you got gifts from your new friend. 409 00:33:09,448 --> 00:33:10,915 She left hours ago. 410 00:33:14,018 --> 00:33:15,186 I just saw her leave. 411 00:33:21,259 --> 00:33:25,130 - [wind howling] - [horse panting] 412 00:33:25,163 --> 00:33:26,264 [Abigail] The great storm began 413 00:33:26,297 --> 00:33:29,702 with a faint groaning in the northeast. 414 00:33:29,735 --> 00:33:32,571 It was like a noise of a locomotive. 415 00:33:33,371 --> 00:33:35,373 [high pitched tone] 416 00:33:38,544 --> 00:33:41,547 [sheep bleating] 417 00:33:56,294 --> 00:34:00,398 [indistinct shouting] 418 00:34:09,475 --> 00:34:12,944 [grunting] 419 00:34:20,218 --> 00:34:22,220 [wind thrashing] 420 00:34:24,423 --> 00:34:25,691 [indistinct chatter] 421 00:34:29,294 --> 00:34:30,328 Help! 422 00:34:31,630 --> 00:34:32,631 [shouting] 423 00:34:45,578 --> 00:34:47,580 [foreboding music] 424 00:35:07,733 --> 00:35:09,535 [man 3] Come closer, girl. 425 00:35:09,568 --> 00:35:11,069 It's warmer over here. 426 00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:26,418 [striking match] 427 00:35:32,190 --> 00:35:34,660 I'm sorry, I'll be going. 428 00:35:34,693 --> 00:35:36,027 You should wait it out. 429 00:35:39,798 --> 00:35:41,099 [groaning] 430 00:35:45,838 --> 00:35:47,038 Come on, mare. 431 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,783 [foreboding music] 432 00:36:12,263 --> 00:36:13,566 Dyer! 433 00:36:22,608 --> 00:36:23,809 Dyer! 434 00:36:34,486 --> 00:36:36,822 [tense music] 435 00:36:47,566 --> 00:36:48,867 Dyer! 436 00:36:59,545 --> 00:37:02,113 [wind thrashing] 437 00:37:08,954 --> 00:37:12,357 [Abigail] How long would it be before I receive word of Tallie? 438 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,127 How long could I wait? 439 00:37:19,765 --> 00:37:21,700 How long will the feed in the barn last? 440 00:37:24,837 --> 00:37:27,673 Each cow eats 26 pounds of forage every day. 441 00:37:28,841 --> 00:37:31,209 You should know that. 442 00:37:31,242 --> 00:37:34,747 They start to skinny down after three days. 443 00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:37,583 Heard the newspaper predicts the storm'll let up by then. 444 00:37:37,616 --> 00:37:38,851 But that's probably based on 445 00:37:38,884 --> 00:37:41,285 an expert's consultation of a goose bone. 446 00:37:51,664 --> 00:37:52,865 [sighs deeply] 447 00:37:52,898 --> 00:37:56,367 "In a real crisis of nature, we're all at another's mercy." 448 00:37:56,902 --> 00:37:57,936 Yes. 449 00:38:00,271 --> 00:38:01,272 My mother liked to say, 450 00:38:01,305 --> 00:38:03,942 "We tumble from one mortification to another." 451 00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:13,952 When I was seven, an earthquake knocked down our house and barn. 452 00:38:16,488 --> 00:38:17,489 Did I tell you? 453 00:38:18,490 --> 00:38:19,525 Never. 454 00:38:20,726 --> 00:38:22,461 - An earthquake? - Yes. 455 00:38:25,363 --> 00:38:27,231 I remember something woke me before dawn. 456 00:38:27,265 --> 00:38:28,467 I don't know what. 457 00:38:30,569 --> 00:38:31,904 My father was calling out. 458 00:38:34,807 --> 00:38:38,376 But I couldn't tear myself away from the window. 459 00:38:38,410 --> 00:38:42,715 I saw birds fluttering in the air, afraid to set down. 460 00:38:42,748 --> 00:38:45,283 The river was roiling, and I couldn't move. 461 00:38:47,285 --> 00:38:48,319 And then... 462 00:38:53,058 --> 00:38:56,562 Finally, I jumped down to our collapsed stairwell, 463 00:38:58,697 --> 00:39:00,599 as all my brothers had done before me. 464 00:39:00,632 --> 00:39:02,968 And we all huddled together in the dark on the porch. 465 00:39:13,377 --> 00:39:14,813 Later, my mother said 466 00:39:14,847 --> 00:39:17,649 that the dread never fully went away after that. 467 00:39:22,353 --> 00:39:24,857 She said, "What was safe if the solid earth could do that?" 468 00:39:28,093 --> 00:39:31,830 [deep breath] Mother. 469 00:39:41,406 --> 00:39:44,810 [rapid breathing] 470 00:39:50,449 --> 00:39:52,050 Tallie! You're frozen! 471 00:39:57,623 --> 00:40:00,492 Tallie! Stay awake! Stay awake! 472 00:40:00,526 --> 00:40:02,494 Open your eyes! Open your eyes! 473 00:40:04,129 --> 00:40:06,397 [blowing] 474 00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:08,901 Keep your eyes open! 475 00:40:09,768 --> 00:40:10,769 Keep your eyes open! 476 00:40:12,638 --> 00:40:13,872 Look at me. 477 00:40:16,008 --> 00:40:17,743 I would die without you. 478 00:40:24,983 --> 00:40:26,451 Then you're safe. 479 00:40:28,554 --> 00:40:29,788 Because I am here. 480 00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:33,992 [Abigail] Monday, March 17th. 481 00:40:50,175 --> 00:40:53,078 Half the chickens are lost. 482 00:40:53,111 --> 00:40:56,715 I dug ice and snow from their dead open mouths 483 00:40:56,748 --> 00:40:59,383 in an attempt to revive them. 484 00:41:05,757 --> 00:41:08,627 [splashing] 485 00:41:32,718 --> 00:41:33,752 Hobnails... 486 00:41:35,053 --> 00:41:36,455 For better traction. 487 00:41:39,758 --> 00:41:41,860 [Abigail] The Widow Weldon's son, on his rounds, 488 00:41:41,894 --> 00:41:44,963 reported that Tallie had gotten home safely, 489 00:41:44,997 --> 00:41:47,799 with, he thought, only a bit of frostbite. 490 00:41:47,833 --> 00:41:49,968 We haven't seen your friend down the lane for a while. 491 00:41:51,003 --> 00:41:53,005 Finney took her to Oneonta. 492 00:41:56,775 --> 00:41:58,810 So everything is tedious and lonesome? 493 00:42:00,112 --> 00:42:02,481 [Abigail] Thursday, April 10th. 494 00:42:02,981 --> 00:42:04,983 [light music] 495 00:42:06,718 --> 00:42:09,054 Biscuits and dried mackerel for breakfast. 496 00:42:10,956 --> 00:42:13,625 Dyer has augmented the padding in the cattle pens 497 00:42:13,659 --> 00:42:16,561 with his hoardings of maple leaves and old straw. 498 00:42:18,597 --> 00:42:20,999 It always seems that Tallie will never appear. 499 00:42:22,768 --> 00:42:25,637 But I remind myself that time and the needle wear 500 00:42:25,671 --> 00:42:27,172 through the longest morning. 501 00:42:28,774 --> 00:42:31,109 And I have noted that when she does arrive, 502 00:42:32,744 --> 00:42:36,048 my heart is like a leaf borne over a rock 503 00:42:36,081 --> 00:42:38,183 by rapidly moving water. 504 00:42:38,216 --> 00:42:40,519 [dog barking] 505 00:42:45,123 --> 00:42:47,526 [dramatic music] 506 00:42:59,204 --> 00:43:00,272 Hello. Oh! 507 00:43:00,305 --> 00:43:02,207 Oh! Careful. 508 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,276 [laughing] 509 00:43:04,309 --> 00:43:06,979 Stay. Sit, sit. 510 00:43:07,913 --> 00:43:08,981 [chuckles] 511 00:43:12,150 --> 00:43:13,885 [dog whines] 512 00:43:13,919 --> 00:43:16,722 [Abigail] Saturday, April 12th. 513 00:43:16,755 --> 00:43:20,092 - I spent the last two days... - Very damp, cloudy and cool. 514 00:43:21,259 --> 00:43:22,928 Smoky. 515 00:43:22,961 --> 00:43:25,630 Perhaps the forest is somewhere on fire. 516 00:43:28,133 --> 00:43:30,769 Your nose is being gracious. 517 00:43:30,802 --> 00:43:33,839 [Abigail] Monday, April 14th. 518 00:43:33,872 --> 00:43:36,608 A terribly bad spring so far, 519 00:43:36,641 --> 00:43:38,944 but the clover has come up through it, 520 00:43:38,977 --> 00:43:40,212 and is all right. 521 00:43:42,147 --> 00:43:43,148 And how's Finney? 522 00:43:44,316 --> 00:43:45,851 The soul of patience. 523 00:43:47,219 --> 00:43:50,088 He's mentioning again the idea of migrating west. 524 00:43:52,824 --> 00:43:54,526 You're planning on moving west? 525 00:43:55,594 --> 00:43:57,763 Perhaps. 526 00:43:57,796 --> 00:44:02,067 I had an uncle who moved to Ohio and came to a desperate end. 527 00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,603 Which is what one might expect from Ohio. 528 00:44:06,638 --> 00:44:08,740 - Tomorrow? - Hm. 529 00:44:13,812 --> 00:44:16,882 [Abigail] Thursday, April 17th. 530 00:44:16,915 --> 00:44:20,252 Rain in torrents nearly all night. 531 00:44:20,285 --> 00:44:23,822 The lane is flooded and the ditches brim full. 532 00:44:23,855 --> 00:44:26,892 This morning, only a slight shower. 533 00:44:26,925 --> 00:44:29,795 Tallie came later than her usual time today. 534 00:44:31,063 --> 00:44:32,964 She offered no explanation. 535 00:44:33,999 --> 00:44:36,701 [soft music] 536 00:44:56,188 --> 00:45:00,759 I'm sorry that your childhood was anything less than joyous. 537 00:45:00,792 --> 00:45:02,127 Joyous it was not. 538 00:45:03,295 --> 00:45:04,996 But I made my own happinesses. 539 00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:11,336 My husband says, "God puts heavy stones in your path, 540 00:45:11,369 --> 00:45:13,004 it's up to us to step over them." 541 00:45:15,740 --> 00:45:17,776 Stones are what the fortunate receive. 542 00:45:19,077 --> 00:45:23,014 My mother's mother was born in 1780 543 00:45:23,048 --> 00:45:24,883 right here in Schoharie County. 544 00:45:26,885 --> 00:45:29,387 I often wonder at the courage 545 00:45:29,422 --> 00:45:31,356 and the resourcefulness of those women. 546 00:45:33,325 --> 00:45:36,294 Imagine faring forth into a wilderness, 547 00:45:36,328 --> 00:45:38,864 hoping to build the foundations of a home. 548 00:45:43,201 --> 00:45:46,104 Maybe they had a certain high hopefulness that we don't have. 549 00:45:51,276 --> 00:45:52,944 [horse neighing in distance] 550 00:45:54,913 --> 00:45:55,947 When can you come? 551 00:45:57,149 --> 00:45:58,183 Tuesday. 552 00:46:04,990 --> 00:46:06,124 - Hello, Tallie! - Good day. 553 00:46:06,158 --> 00:46:08,026 Was your afternoon gladsome? 554 00:46:08,059 --> 00:46:09,127 Yes, it was, very. 555 00:46:12,297 --> 00:46:14,032 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 556 00:46:19,137 --> 00:46:21,072 [Abigail] I felt, 557 00:46:21,106 --> 00:46:23,775 looking at her expression, 558 00:46:23,808 --> 00:46:27,712 as if she were in full sail on a flood tide, 559 00:46:27,746 --> 00:46:30,182 while I bobbed along down backwards. 560 00:46:31,049 --> 00:46:32,851 And yet, 561 00:46:32,884 --> 00:46:36,121 I never say on her countenance the indifference 562 00:46:36,154 --> 00:46:39,191 of fortunate towards the less fortunate. 563 00:46:40,258 --> 00:46:41,359 [sighs] 564 00:46:53,905 --> 00:46:55,106 [dog panting] 565 00:47:11,289 --> 00:47:12,290 Good day. 566 00:47:13,058 --> 00:47:14,125 Good day. 567 00:47:14,159 --> 00:47:15,160 Are you sick, too? 568 00:47:16,194 --> 00:47:17,229 Not at all. 569 00:47:18,363 --> 00:47:20,031 I was hoping to compare colds. 570 00:47:21,534 --> 00:47:22,934 I'll make you tea and honey? 571 00:47:49,361 --> 00:47:50,395 What? 572 00:47:52,864 --> 00:47:53,832 Every morning I wake up 573 00:47:53,865 --> 00:47:56,535 and I think that I never want to be far from you. 574 00:48:07,012 --> 00:48:09,180 And under your influence, since you're so good with words, 575 00:48:09,214 --> 00:48:10,282 I've composed a poem. 576 00:48:13,486 --> 00:48:16,154 It's entitled... 577 00:48:16,187 --> 00:48:18,189 "Oh, Sick and Miserable Heart, Be Still." 578 00:48:26,164 --> 00:48:27,566 When I was a little girl, 579 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,568 I thought I could cultivate my intellect 580 00:48:29,602 --> 00:48:31,870 and do something for the world. 581 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:39,210 But my life has surprised me by being far more ordinary. 582 00:48:44,983 --> 00:48:46,151 You're talking about that moment 583 00:48:46,184 --> 00:48:50,021 that I have dreamed about, when we're carried in triumph 584 00:48:50,055 --> 00:48:53,291 for having done something wonderful or received at home 585 00:48:53,325 --> 00:48:56,895 with tears and shouts of joy. 586 00:48:56,928 --> 00:48:58,129 Do you know what I wonder? 587 00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:11,410 Is it possible... 588 00:49:11,444 --> 00:49:14,379 that such a moment hasn't yet come for either of us? 589 00:49:17,115 --> 00:49:18,417 I think it has. 590 00:49:22,421 --> 00:49:23,556 Or that it could. 591 00:49:24,189 --> 00:49:25,190 You do. 592 00:49:27,292 --> 00:49:28,326 So what do you think? 593 00:49:30,028 --> 00:49:31,229 What do you think about us? 594 00:49:36,167 --> 00:49:38,036 I don't know how to put it into words. 595 00:49:38,069 --> 00:49:39,070 Well, try. 596 00:49:41,306 --> 00:49:42,907 - I have tried. - Well, try again. 597 00:49:42,941 --> 00:49:44,175 What do you imagine? 598 00:49:50,416 --> 00:49:52,083 I imagine that I love 599 00:49:52,117 --> 00:49:55,186 how our encircling feelings leave nothing out... 600 00:49:57,188 --> 00:49:58,657 for us to want or seek. 601 00:50:03,496 --> 00:50:05,230 I've presumed too much. 602 00:50:15,474 --> 00:50:18,109 It's been my experience that it's not always those 603 00:50:18,143 --> 00:50:22,313 who show the least who actually feel the least. 604 00:50:28,052 --> 00:50:30,355 [scratching] 605 00:50:30,388 --> 00:50:32,223 Just my dog's toenails on the wood. 606 00:50:53,311 --> 00:50:55,581 Why didn't you do what you attempted to do? 607 00:51:05,758 --> 00:51:07,460 [soft gasp] 608 00:51:27,212 --> 00:51:29,314 [gentle music] 609 00:51:36,087 --> 00:51:37,590 I worry you'll catch my cold. 610 00:51:40,258 --> 00:51:42,428 You smell like a biscuit. 611 00:51:42,461 --> 00:51:44,128 [soft laugh] 612 00:51:50,201 --> 00:51:51,570 I have to go home. 613 00:52:11,524 --> 00:52:13,492 [Abigail] Astonishment and joy. 614 00:52:21,567 --> 00:52:23,702 Astonishment and joy. 615 00:52:34,112 --> 00:52:35,179 [sighs deeply] 616 00:52:35,213 --> 00:52:37,483 Astonishment and joy. 617 00:52:39,785 --> 00:52:43,087 [breathing deeply] 618 00:52:44,355 --> 00:52:46,357 [bright music] 619 00:52:58,837 --> 00:53:00,271 - [lock clinking] - [door opens] 620 00:53:01,907 --> 00:53:04,375 You haven't accomplished any of your responsibilities. 621 00:53:06,812 --> 00:53:09,815 - Do you need assistance? - No, I don't think so. 622 00:53:23,862 --> 00:53:25,831 So it's a cold plate for supper tonight? 623 00:53:36,575 --> 00:53:37,743 I'll milk the cows. 624 00:53:49,287 --> 00:53:51,490 [tranquil music] 625 00:54:15,748 --> 00:54:17,549 [Abigail] Friday, May 30th. 626 00:54:20,218 --> 00:54:22,353 The sunshine streaming through the branches 627 00:54:22,387 --> 00:54:25,724 makes a tremendous farrago of light and shade. 628 00:54:32,431 --> 00:54:36,334 We hold our friendship between us and study it, 629 00:54:37,903 --> 00:54:41,407 as if it were the incomplete map of our escape. 630 00:54:50,883 --> 00:54:52,418 When the day is done, 631 00:54:53,552 --> 00:54:54,987 my mind turns to her, 632 00:54:55,020 --> 00:54:57,355 and I think, with a special heat, 633 00:54:59,425 --> 00:55:01,593 "Why are we to be separated?" 634 00:55:04,430 --> 00:55:06,632 [approaching footsteps] 635 00:55:24,282 --> 00:55:26,685 Your smile stopped. Is it meant for someone else? 636 00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:28,420 Sorry, my mind was elsewhere. 637 00:55:33,959 --> 00:55:36,327 We need calico and buttons and shoe thread. 638 00:55:41,667 --> 00:55:43,969 Am I troubling you, sitting here with you like this? 639 00:55:45,637 --> 00:55:46,672 Not at all. 640 00:55:52,678 --> 00:55:53,812 I may be late coming to it, 641 00:55:53,846 --> 00:55:55,881 but I've learned consideration of others. 642 00:55:58,884 --> 00:56:00,786 I've learned the need for human sympathy 643 00:56:02,554 --> 00:56:03,922 and the unfulfilled want of it. 644 00:56:05,891 --> 00:56:07,826 I feel I've provided you with sympathy. 645 00:56:10,796 --> 00:56:12,296 I suppose that's so. 646 00:56:20,973 --> 00:56:22,441 [sighs sharply] 647 00:56:23,776 --> 00:56:24,810 [knocks on door] 648 00:56:28,781 --> 00:56:29,915 The smile returns. 649 00:56:38,090 --> 00:56:39,390 [Tallie] Good day. 650 00:56:42,928 --> 00:56:43,929 [door slamming] 651 00:56:49,735 --> 00:56:50,736 [gasps] 652 00:56:52,771 --> 00:56:57,042 [rapid breathing] Oh. 653 00:56:57,075 --> 00:56:59,343 I believe that intimacy increases goodwill. 654 00:57:00,078 --> 00:57:02,346 And if that's the case, 655 00:57:02,380 --> 00:57:03,715 then every minute we spend together 656 00:57:03,749 --> 00:57:05,651 will make us more cheerful workers. 657 00:57:08,420 --> 00:57:09,988 Won't our farms benefit from that? 658 00:57:11,456 --> 00:57:12,524 Won't our husbands? 659 00:57:15,761 --> 00:57:17,596 All our burdens will be lightened. 660 00:57:33,612 --> 00:57:36,347 [humming] 661 00:57:43,989 --> 00:57:47,759 [Abigail] When she left, I was like a skiff at sea 662 00:57:47,793 --> 00:57:50,762 with neither hand nor helm to guide it. 663 00:57:53,599 --> 00:57:56,001 They're cleaning out the drain under the street along the fork. 664 00:57:59,471 --> 00:58:01,473 And several people are down with fever. 665 00:58:07,179 --> 00:58:10,048 Holt came by to hang the bacon. 666 00:58:10,082 --> 00:58:12,818 He still hasn't recovered from being beaten by two strangers. 667 00:58:14,152 --> 00:58:17,522 He had to be hauled to his home in his cart. 668 00:58:17,556 --> 00:58:19,458 He said the men who did it were gonna kill him, 669 00:58:19,491 --> 00:58:21,894 and then realized they were mistaken as to who he was. 670 00:58:21,927 --> 00:58:23,562 Lately, it seems like all you talk about 671 00:58:23,595 --> 00:58:25,063 are highwaymen and house breakers. 672 00:58:29,001 --> 00:58:31,036 [breathes deeply] 673 00:58:32,471 --> 00:58:34,172 On the contrary, 674 00:58:34,206 --> 00:58:36,108 I often defer to your sensitivities. 675 00:58:38,176 --> 00:58:39,645 And I haven't even told you about 676 00:58:39,678 --> 00:58:41,213 all the reports in the county of men 677 00:58:41,246 --> 00:58:43,849 who've poisoned and killed their wives 678 00:58:43,882 --> 00:58:46,018 because I haven't found it a fitting subject for supper. 679 00:58:49,855 --> 00:58:51,957 [Abigail] "Killed their wives," he used those words? 680 00:58:51,990 --> 00:58:53,525 [Tallie] Mm-hm. those words. 681 00:58:54,993 --> 00:58:57,562 Have you had any disagreements? 682 00:58:57,596 --> 00:58:59,898 Yes, about my wifely duties. 683 00:58:59,932 --> 00:59:02,434 I told him that I was opposed to it, that I was not willing. 684 00:59:05,170 --> 00:59:06,538 And he accepted that? 685 00:59:07,940 --> 00:59:09,841 Well, he hasn't touched me since, so... 686 00:59:15,814 --> 00:59:16,882 [branch snapping] 687 00:59:21,853 --> 00:59:23,522 But I made myself feel better... 688 00:59:24,856 --> 00:59:26,124 by composing a poem. 689 00:59:27,826 --> 00:59:29,227 Can I read you the opening stanza? 690 00:59:30,762 --> 00:59:32,264 You can read me the entire poem. 691 00:59:32,297 --> 00:59:34,232 No, I'll start with the opening stanza. 692 00:59:40,872 --> 00:59:42,641 "I love flowering gardens. 693 00:59:43,241 --> 00:59:45,544 I love creeping plants. 694 00:59:45,577 --> 00:59:47,746 I love walking in the air, 695 00:59:47,779 --> 00:59:49,548 but I fear swarming ants." 696 00:59:54,653 --> 00:59:56,722 I don't think I can support the rhyme. 697 00:59:56,755 --> 00:59:59,791 [laughing] 698 01:00:01,827 --> 01:00:03,628 You see why I didn't read the whole thing? 699 01:00:04,696 --> 01:00:06,098 I'm sorry. 700 01:00:06,131 --> 01:00:08,567 I've always been contrary and maladroit. 701 01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:16,675 Earlier, I... I felt that... 702 01:00:18,910 --> 01:00:22,814 whenever I would draw close to you, you would retreat, 703 01:00:22,848 --> 01:00:25,217 and that, if I kept still, you would return 704 01:00:25,250 --> 01:00:28,153 but you'd stay at a distance, like those sparrows 705 01:00:28,186 --> 01:00:31,156 that stay in the farmyard and won't come into the house. 706 01:00:32,691 --> 01:00:35,727 - That's not how I feel. - How do you feel, then? 707 01:00:35,761 --> 01:00:37,662 When I was in school, 708 01:00:37,696 --> 01:00:39,331 the teacher had me read "Cordelia" 709 01:00:39,364 --> 01:00:40,932 to an older boy's "King Lear." 710 01:00:42,367 --> 01:00:43,268 Near the end of the play, 711 01:00:43,301 --> 01:00:46,304 the king and his daughter are imprisoned, 712 01:00:46,338 --> 01:00:48,540 but he views it in a positive way. 713 01:00:50,075 --> 01:00:52,844 "Come, let's away to prison," he says. 714 01:00:54,780 --> 01:00:58,183 "We two alone shall sing like birds in a cage." 715 01:00:59,284 --> 01:01:00,318 Imprisoned... 716 01:01:02,921 --> 01:01:04,222 In a positive way? 717 01:01:05,690 --> 01:01:09,194 Well, maybe that one has to read the entire play. 718 01:01:09,227 --> 01:01:11,229 It may be only in plays where people 719 01:01:11,263 --> 01:01:14,199 are imprisoned in a positive way. 720 01:01:14,232 --> 01:01:16,868 You don't think there's a cage that could work to our benefit? 721 01:01:23,008 --> 01:01:24,109 I just... 722 01:01:28,747 --> 01:01:29,948 I only know that... 723 01:01:32,918 --> 01:01:34,352 I've never liked cages. 724 01:01:50,402 --> 01:01:51,870 [wood creaking] 725 01:01:54,172 --> 01:01:57,676 I hope you had a good afternoon in Shangri-La or Timbuktu, 726 01:01:57,709 --> 01:01:58,877 wherever it is you've been. 727 01:01:58,910 --> 01:02:00,779 I had a busy afternoon, yes. 728 01:02:00,812 --> 01:02:02,080 I would think. 729 01:02:02,114 --> 01:02:04,116 Five hours you've been gone. 730 01:02:04,149 --> 01:02:05,283 I went to the drapers. 731 01:02:05,317 --> 01:02:07,752 I couldn't find anything I liked. 732 01:02:07,786 --> 01:02:09,688 Then I stopped by the tinker for a sack of coffee, 733 01:02:09,721 --> 01:02:12,324 but he's now asking 60 cents, and I only had 50. 734 01:02:12,357 --> 01:02:14,292 Then I thought I would buy you a treat of some kind, 735 01:02:14,326 --> 01:02:16,027 but Mr. Arnolds reminded me 736 01:02:16,061 --> 01:02:17,929 that I still owed for my last transactions so... 737 01:02:19,831 --> 01:02:21,700 [sighs] I was forced to close up my purse. 738 01:02:23,001 --> 01:02:24,202 [chuckles] 739 01:02:24,236 --> 01:02:26,037 Tell me everything about your day. 740 01:02:26,071 --> 01:02:27,172 Don't hold anything back. 741 01:02:27,205 --> 01:02:30,275 You're not interested in how your wife spends her time. 742 01:02:30,308 --> 01:02:32,277 I don't feel I have a wife. 743 01:02:32,310 --> 01:02:35,213 I feel I have a selfish whore who... 744 01:02:35,247 --> 01:02:37,716 who'd rather wander off to another man's house 745 01:02:37,749 --> 01:02:39,151 than contribute any labor. 746 01:02:44,022 --> 01:02:45,857 Well, Dyer was off in the fields, 747 01:02:45,891 --> 01:02:48,059 and her house is on the way back home, so... 748 01:02:50,128 --> 01:02:51,696 So it's just Abigail and you 749 01:02:51,730 --> 01:02:54,166 tittering and gossiping away the hours? 750 01:02:54,199 --> 01:02:57,302 Enjoying each other's company. 751 01:02:57,335 --> 01:03:00,772 I have certain expectations, and you have certain duties. 752 01:03:00,805 --> 01:03:03,742 We've talked all night and day about your expectations. 753 01:03:06,144 --> 01:03:07,480 I will not stay with a woman 754 01:03:07,513 --> 01:03:09,781 if it continually requires contention. 755 01:03:09,814 --> 01:03:12,250 Well, then you shouldn't stay with me, should you? 756 01:03:12,284 --> 01:03:14,019 Don't ask for more than you can handle. 757 01:03:22,794 --> 01:03:26,231 [Abigail] Sunday, June 8th. 758 01:03:26,264 --> 01:03:29,834 All afternoon, a hawk has been using a single cloud above us 759 01:03:29,868 --> 01:03:31,736 - as its own parasol. - [gunshot] 760 01:03:47,819 --> 01:03:49,988 To ward off others of its kind. 761 01:04:04,336 --> 01:04:08,306 [Abigail] Our whole house now seems both angry and repentant. 762 01:04:12,010 --> 01:04:13,178 God help us. 763 01:04:19,485 --> 01:04:21,520 [owl hooting] 764 01:04:41,006 --> 01:04:44,109 When three days went by without a word from her, 765 01:04:44,142 --> 01:04:47,245 I stole over to her house to look on her 766 01:04:47,279 --> 01:04:49,014 from what I imagined to be 767 01:04:49,047 --> 01:04:51,116 a vantage point of perfect safety. 768 01:04:59,525 --> 01:05:03,228 By turning the lens piece, I could draw her face nearer, 769 01:05:03,261 --> 01:05:06,865 and hold it there until she turned away. 770 01:05:06,898 --> 01:05:09,401 Her image provoked a sensation in me 771 01:05:09,435 --> 01:05:12,037 like the violence that sends a floating branch 772 01:05:12,070 --> 01:05:15,073 far out over a waterfall's precipice 773 01:05:15,106 --> 01:05:17,042 - before it plummets. - [glass shattering] 774 01:05:17,075 --> 01:05:18,477 - [door opens] - [barking] 775 01:05:18,511 --> 01:05:19,512 [cocks gun] 776 01:05:24,983 --> 01:05:28,053 [panting] 777 01:05:30,922 --> 01:05:34,059 "For the wife does not have the authority over her own body, 778 01:05:34,092 --> 01:05:35,126 but the husband does. 779 01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:36,562 Do not deprive one another, 780 01:05:36,595 --> 01:05:38,396 so that Satan may not tempt you 781 01:05:38,431 --> 01:05:40,599 because of your lack of self-control." 782 01:05:40,633 --> 01:05:44,235 Ephesians 5:33. "Submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord..." 783 01:05:44,269 --> 01:05:46,338 [Abigail] Monday, June 9th. 784 01:05:46,371 --> 01:05:48,940 [thunder rumbling] 785 01:06:02,521 --> 01:06:03,955 Merciful father... 786 01:06:05,524 --> 01:06:07,959 Turn the channel of events. 787 01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:24,410 Wednesday, June 11th. 788 01:06:28,647 --> 01:06:31,916 Dyer has been silent all day, 789 01:06:31,950 --> 01:06:34,420 and I was happy to be left in my solitude. 790 01:06:48,634 --> 01:06:49,668 Hello! 791 01:06:50,736 --> 01:06:52,605 Tallie... 792 01:06:52,638 --> 01:06:54,139 We haven't seen you for days. 793 01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:57,075 Have you been ill? 794 01:06:59,010 --> 01:07:00,413 - Nothing serious, I hope. - [Finney] Ho! 795 01:07:03,248 --> 01:07:04,315 She's been under the weather. 796 01:07:06,184 --> 01:07:09,120 - [Dyer] Good afternoon. - [Tallie] Good afternoon. 797 01:07:09,154 --> 01:07:12,290 We want to invite you to dinner again this Saturday next. 798 01:07:12,323 --> 01:07:15,260 But it's our turn. We should be feasting you. 799 01:07:15,293 --> 01:07:17,195 In the meantime, please be our guests. 800 01:07:18,664 --> 01:07:19,665 [Dyer] We'd love to. 801 01:07:20,331 --> 01:07:21,366 Six? 802 01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:24,002 - [Dyer] Six it is. - Hup! 803 01:07:32,711 --> 01:07:34,713 [ominous music] 804 01:07:42,086 --> 01:07:43,722 [Abigail] My mother once told me in a fury 805 01:07:43,756 --> 01:07:45,658 when I was a little girl 806 01:07:45,691 --> 01:07:47,593 that my father asked nothing of her 807 01:07:47,626 --> 01:07:49,762 except that she work in the garden, 808 01:07:49,795 --> 01:07:52,531 harvest the produce, preserve the fruit, 809 01:07:52,565 --> 01:07:55,233 tend the poultry, milk the cows, 810 01:07:55,266 --> 01:07:57,068 manage the household duties, 811 01:07:57,101 --> 01:07:59,672 and help out in the fields when needed. 812 01:07:59,705 --> 01:08:01,507 She said she appeared in his ledger 813 01:08:01,540 --> 01:08:03,975 only when she purchased a dress. 814 01:08:05,376 --> 01:08:06,712 Am I anywhere in there? 815 01:08:10,215 --> 01:08:13,084 I'm recording spring expenses. 816 01:08:13,117 --> 01:08:15,320 [Abigail] And how have things changed? 817 01:08:15,353 --> 01:08:17,288 Daughters are married off so young 818 01:08:17,322 --> 01:08:20,626 that everywhere you look a slender and unwilling girl 819 01:08:20,659 --> 01:08:23,562 is being forced to stem a sea of tribulations 820 01:08:23,596 --> 01:08:26,197 before she is even full-grown in height. 821 01:08:30,134 --> 01:08:31,302 That's its purpose! 822 01:08:37,242 --> 01:08:41,379 [indistinct chatter] 823 01:08:50,456 --> 01:08:51,490 Come on. Come on. 824 01:08:59,431 --> 01:09:00,533 Morning. 825 01:09:17,750 --> 01:09:18,817 Morning, Jim. 826 01:09:19,652 --> 01:09:21,319 Morning, ma'am. 827 01:09:21,352 --> 01:09:22,555 I've got a new book for you. 828 01:09:22,588 --> 01:09:24,122 Do you know, I'd actually like to see 829 01:09:24,155 --> 01:09:25,791 that blue dress you have there. 830 01:09:25,824 --> 01:09:27,091 All right, lady. 831 01:09:31,697 --> 01:09:32,765 [woman 1] Over here! 832 01:09:43,542 --> 01:09:44,710 It's two and a half. 833 01:09:46,712 --> 01:09:47,780 I'll take it. 834 01:09:55,219 --> 01:09:56,822 [baby crying] 835 01:10:03,829 --> 01:10:05,764 [baby crying] 836 01:10:05,798 --> 01:10:07,766 [shushing] 837 01:10:08,399 --> 01:10:09,602 [humming] 838 01:10:19,511 --> 01:10:20,613 My change? 839 01:10:26,250 --> 01:10:27,285 Thank you. 840 01:10:29,220 --> 01:10:31,757 [Abigail] The Mannings' oldest daughter tipped over an oil lamp 841 01:10:31,790 --> 01:10:33,559 and it set the house ablaze. 842 01:10:33,592 --> 01:10:35,293 - [woman 2] Fire! - [Abigail] Ho! Ho! 843 01:10:36,895 --> 01:10:38,296 - [man 4] Fire! - Before she was driven 844 01:10:38,329 --> 01:10:40,566 from the house by the flames, 845 01:10:40,599 --> 01:10:42,668 she heard calls from her sister, 846 01:10:42,701 --> 01:10:44,703 who was trapped in the upper loft. 847 01:10:45,571 --> 01:10:47,573 [foreboding music] 848 01:10:49,508 --> 01:10:52,276 [indistinct shouting] 849 01:10:55,380 --> 01:10:57,315 [Mrs. Manning cries] 850 01:10:57,348 --> 01:10:58,884 Get her out of there. 851 01:11:04,523 --> 01:11:06,458 Cassie! 852 01:11:06,492 --> 01:11:08,594 [indistinct chatter] 853 01:11:16,935 --> 01:11:18,437 Get her out! 854 01:11:23,008 --> 01:11:24,342 Get her out! 855 01:11:29,313 --> 01:11:32,785 [crying] 856 01:11:46,865 --> 01:11:50,368 Your wife is to be commended on her hospitality and cooking. 857 01:11:54,907 --> 01:11:56,709 I can recall the day... 858 01:11:56,742 --> 01:11:59,277 No, thank you. 859 01:11:59,310 --> 01:12:04,450 ...when every family was fed, clothed, shot, sheltered, 860 01:12:04,483 --> 01:12:06,685 and warmed from the products a good wife 861 01:12:06,719 --> 01:12:08,620 gathered within her own fence line. 862 01:12:10,923 --> 01:12:13,525 I heard down by the loggers that Mrs. Mannings' oldest 863 01:12:13,559 --> 01:12:16,028 got fiercely burned in the house fire. 864 01:12:16,061 --> 01:12:17,930 - Cassie. - [Tallie] And died. 865 01:12:19,330 --> 01:12:21,232 [Abigail] Yes, she did. 866 01:12:23,401 --> 01:12:24,737 Well, as my father used to say, 867 01:12:25,971 --> 01:12:27,840 "The supreme disposer of all events 868 01:12:27,873 --> 01:12:30,476 does sometimes disappoint our earthly hopes." 869 01:12:35,881 --> 01:12:37,950 What a marvelous hanging lamp. 870 01:12:37,983 --> 01:12:39,952 Finney purchased it so that everyone could read 871 01:12:39,985 --> 01:12:41,954 with equal ease around the room. 872 01:12:41,987 --> 01:12:43,822 I wasn't brought up to read over much, 873 01:12:45,791 --> 01:12:47,993 but I do believe a father should give his children 874 01:12:48,026 --> 01:12:50,529 every chance to improve. 875 01:12:50,562 --> 01:12:52,631 Children being a sore point in this household. 876 01:12:55,534 --> 01:12:56,702 And yours, I'd expect. 877 01:13:00,639 --> 01:13:01,974 You'll have to forgive my husband. 878 01:13:06,745 --> 01:13:08,914 Even so, 879 01:13:08,947 --> 01:13:11,016 whatever misfortunes arrive at my doorstep, 880 01:13:11,049 --> 01:13:13,752 I seek to improve my lot with my own industry. 881 01:13:15,420 --> 01:13:16,488 I... 882 01:13:17,923 --> 01:13:19,858 I study my options closely, 883 01:13:19,892 --> 01:13:22,895 and just attend to everything with more vehemence. 884 01:13:22,928 --> 01:13:25,464 Well, then you should be commended for that. 885 01:13:25,497 --> 01:13:26,965 I'll give you an example. 886 01:13:26,999 --> 01:13:29,968 When I first began farming, 887 01:13:30,002 --> 01:13:32,004 I was so vexed at my own inability 888 01:13:32,037 --> 01:13:34,338 to stop my dogs barking 889 01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:36,742 that one January, during a storm, 890 01:13:36,775 --> 01:13:39,945 I held the dog around the corner of the barn in a gale 891 01:13:39,978 --> 01:13:41,379 until it froze to death. 892 01:13:44,883 --> 01:13:48,921 I nearly froze to death myself, at least froze my hands, 893 01:13:48,954 --> 01:13:50,756 even with my heavy work gloves. 894 01:13:50,789 --> 01:13:52,323 That is reprehensible. 895 01:13:55,060 --> 01:13:57,796 [Dyer] Did I see outside that you use an old shovel plow? 896 01:13:57,830 --> 01:14:00,732 Well, since you're interested in my machinery, 897 01:14:02,534 --> 01:14:05,637 I have a hinged harrow that's been giving me trouble. 898 01:14:05,671 --> 01:14:08,974 The spikes catch the rocks and roots, and they break off. 899 01:14:09,007 --> 01:14:11,777 Well, our harrow has upright discs. 900 01:14:11,810 --> 01:14:12,911 Work better? 901 01:14:13,912 --> 01:14:14,947 Yeah, it seems to. 902 01:14:18,517 --> 01:14:19,952 Bring the desserts. 903 01:14:19,985 --> 01:14:21,987 I think we're stuffed. 904 01:14:22,020 --> 01:14:23,722 My husband insists on his pastries 905 01:14:23,755 --> 01:14:25,356 and preserved fruits and creams. 906 01:14:26,191 --> 01:14:27,426 Well, good. 907 01:14:29,461 --> 01:14:30,729 [plates clattering] 908 01:14:35,667 --> 01:14:36,768 What is happening? 909 01:14:36,802 --> 01:14:38,470 Are you in danger? 910 01:14:38,503 --> 01:14:40,172 What happened to your neck? 911 01:14:40,205 --> 01:14:42,407 No, I just took a fall over a fence. 912 01:14:43,909 --> 01:14:45,077 I hadn't heard. 913 01:14:46,812 --> 01:14:48,747 There are many things about which you haven't heard. 914 01:14:56,855 --> 01:14:57,923 [Abigail] Back at the table, 915 01:14:57,956 --> 01:15:00,391 Tallie kept strict custody of her eyes. 916 01:15:01,860 --> 01:15:04,897 Her husband's mood seemed to have darkened. 917 01:15:04,930 --> 01:15:07,733 He served the pastries and creams himself, 918 01:15:09,768 --> 01:15:11,637 leaving only her plate empty. 919 01:15:27,953 --> 01:15:30,489 Saturday, June 21st. 920 01:15:32,024 --> 01:15:33,625 My heart a maelstrom. 921 01:15:34,726 --> 01:15:37,029 My head a bedlam. 922 01:15:37,062 --> 01:15:39,631 A whole week and no visit from Tallie. 923 01:15:41,500 --> 01:15:42,534 No word. 924 01:15:51,843 --> 01:15:54,780 My anxieties often force me to stop my work 925 01:15:54,813 --> 01:15:56,915 and pace the house like an inmate. 926 01:15:58,650 --> 01:15:59,818 I have to see her. 927 01:16:01,253 --> 01:16:03,455 [suspenseful music] 928 01:16:19,171 --> 01:16:20,472 Ho, ho! 929 01:16:27,612 --> 01:16:29,848 [horse breathing heavy] 930 01:16:38,724 --> 01:16:40,759 Tallie! Tallie! 931 01:16:47,165 --> 01:16:48,200 [gasps] 932 01:17:19,131 --> 01:17:21,133 [ominous music] 933 01:17:29,875 --> 01:17:30,976 - [thud] - [gasps] 934 01:17:32,811 --> 01:17:33,879 What has happened? 935 01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:35,947 They're gone. 936 01:17:38,383 --> 01:17:40,185 And no goodbye? 937 01:17:40,218 --> 01:17:41,720 We need to call the sheriff. 938 01:17:47,159 --> 01:17:50,595 And report what exactly? That our neighbors moved? 939 01:17:50,629 --> 01:17:52,764 It's the Zebrun farm. They were renting. 940 01:17:52,798 --> 01:17:53,799 I'll go then. 941 01:17:54,332 --> 01:17:55,934 For what reason? 942 01:17:55,967 --> 01:17:57,035 There's blood! 943 01:18:00,205 --> 01:18:01,740 And you never had an accident? 944 01:18:09,314 --> 01:18:10,882 So we'll just do nothing? 945 01:18:27,966 --> 01:18:29,968 I'll make the rounds of the neighbors. 946 01:18:32,070 --> 01:18:33,672 And if we are not satisfied, 947 01:18:33,705 --> 01:18:35,073 we can take your fears to the sheriff. 948 01:18:38,243 --> 01:18:39,244 Thank you. 949 01:18:43,882 --> 01:18:46,918 [Abigail] Monday, June 23rd. 950 01:18:46,952 --> 01:18:49,888 Dyer said Mrs. Nottoway recalled spotting their caravan 951 01:18:49,921 --> 01:18:53,692 on the country road in the late evening, heading northwest. 952 01:18:53,725 --> 01:18:54,759 [Dyer] Mrs. Nottoway? 953 01:18:54,793 --> 01:18:56,828 She believed she spied Tallie's figure 954 01:18:56,862 --> 01:18:59,931 alongside her husband's but was unsure. 955 01:18:59,965 --> 01:19:04,769 A hired hand, she thought, was driving the second wagon. 956 01:19:04,803 --> 01:19:07,038 Sunday, June 29th 957 01:19:07,072 --> 01:19:09,808 I spotted the sheriff on his way to church. 958 01:19:09,841 --> 01:19:13,044 I conveyed my accusations, to no response. 959 01:19:15,881 --> 01:19:18,216 Dyer said that no one would investigate a crime 960 01:19:18,250 --> 01:19:20,352 without evidence that a crime had been committed. 961 01:19:20,385 --> 01:19:21,420 Calm myself? 962 01:19:21,454 --> 01:19:23,288 I refused to calm myself, 963 01:19:23,321 --> 01:19:26,892 so he tied me to a chair and administered laudanum. 964 01:19:26,925 --> 01:19:29,895 Monday, June 30th. 965 01:19:29,928 --> 01:19:32,797 Bleary and short of breath from the laudanum... 966 01:19:36,502 --> 01:19:37,936 I wake weeping, 967 01:19:38,870 --> 01:19:40,071 retire weeping, 968 01:19:41,173 --> 01:19:43,675 stand before my duties weeping. 969 01:19:46,278 --> 01:19:48,313 [ominous music] 970 01:19:49,147 --> 01:19:51,883 Sunday, July 6th. 971 01:19:51,917 --> 01:19:55,020 I am a library without books, 972 01:19:55,053 --> 01:19:59,191 a sea of fear, agitation and want. 973 01:19:59,224 --> 01:20:03,161 Dyer speaks of how much we have for which to be grateful. 974 01:20:03,195 --> 01:20:06,231 I sit violently conscious of the ticking clock 975 01:20:06,264 --> 01:20:08,300 while he weeps at what he imagines 976 01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:11,336 to be his own poor, forgotten self. 977 01:20:11,369 --> 01:20:13,205 Wednesday, July 9th. 978 01:20:15,006 --> 01:20:17,108 Despite some hours without the laudanum, 979 01:20:17,142 --> 01:20:19,744 I was so befogged and wild with grief 980 01:20:19,778 --> 01:20:21,713 that Dyer left me for the afternoon, 981 01:20:22,481 --> 01:20:24,983 unsettled and wary of my state. 982 01:20:29,821 --> 01:20:32,123 Tuesday, July 22nd. 983 01:20:41,333 --> 01:20:42,834 [horse neighing] 984 01:20:44,936 --> 01:20:46,738 [galloping] 985 01:20:48,173 --> 01:20:50,308 - Weldon? - Good day. 986 01:20:50,342 --> 01:20:51,810 The renters at Zebrun's farm are gone. 987 01:20:51,843 --> 01:20:53,278 Did they leave a forwarding address? 988 01:20:54,480 --> 01:20:56,848 No. You've got a letter. 989 01:20:59,418 --> 01:21:00,486 Hyah. 990 01:21:05,458 --> 01:21:06,492 Is it from her? 991 01:21:09,027 --> 01:21:10,095 It is. 992 01:21:11,296 --> 01:21:13,798 - Oh. - Origin? 993 01:21:13,832 --> 01:21:15,333 Onondaga County. Do you know it? 994 01:21:17,969 --> 01:21:19,304 It's north of Syracuse. 995 01:21:28,179 --> 01:21:29,281 Are you gonna read it? 996 01:21:31,617 --> 01:21:32,884 To myself. 997 01:21:47,466 --> 01:21:51,303 [Tallie] Abigail, Abigail, Abigail. 998 01:21:51,336 --> 01:21:54,839 I'm sorry that all I have to send you is this letter, 999 01:21:54,873 --> 01:21:58,511 and I'm sorry for all that a letter cannot be. 1000 01:22:00,178 --> 01:22:02,814 Even the best letter is just a little bit of someone. 1001 01:22:04,550 --> 01:22:07,052 I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye, 1002 01:22:08,587 --> 01:22:11,022 and I'm sorry that we seem to have traded 1003 01:22:11,056 --> 01:22:12,891 one sort of misery for another. 1004 01:22:15,226 --> 01:22:17,596 It turns out that houses deep in the backwoods 1005 01:22:17,630 --> 01:22:21,567 always seem to be awful and unnatural in their loneliness. 1006 01:22:23,234 --> 01:22:24,570 If there were only a ruined abbey 1007 01:22:24,603 --> 01:22:27,872 around here with bats in it, the view would be perfect. 1008 01:22:30,141 --> 01:22:34,145 Our roof is ramshackle and sheds water nicely in dry weather 1009 01:22:34,179 --> 01:22:38,651 but we have to spread milk pans around the floor when it rains. 1010 01:22:38,684 --> 01:22:40,619 Still, outside the kitchen, 1011 01:22:40,653 --> 01:22:45,090 there are already anemones and heart's-ease, 1012 01:22:45,123 --> 01:22:47,593 and even prettier flowers which my stupidity 1013 01:22:47,626 --> 01:22:50,995 keeps me from naming for you. 1014 01:22:51,029 --> 01:22:54,933 I believe I've enjoyed myself less these last few weeks 1015 01:22:54,966 --> 01:22:57,302 than any other female who ever lived. 1016 01:22:59,404 --> 01:23:01,407 During what little time I have to myself, 1017 01:23:01,440 --> 01:23:04,042 Finney reads aloud instructions for wives 1018 01:23:04,075 --> 01:23:05,578 from the Old Testament. 1019 01:23:08,279 --> 01:23:10,014 But when it comes to the Bible, 1020 01:23:10,048 --> 01:23:12,350 I have to say that there are a lot of passages 1021 01:23:12,384 --> 01:23:14,420 he may know word for word, 1022 01:23:14,453 --> 01:23:16,221 but which haven't touched his heart. 1023 01:23:18,123 --> 01:23:20,325 I can't account for his state of mind except to say 1024 01:23:20,358 --> 01:23:23,928 that my company must be intensely disagreeable to him. 1025 01:23:24,996 --> 01:23:26,197 And if that's the case, 1026 01:23:27,031 --> 01:23:28,166 I'm sorry for it. 1027 01:23:34,573 --> 01:23:37,041 [horse approaching] 1028 01:23:40,378 --> 01:23:41,414 Ho... 1029 01:23:43,081 --> 01:23:44,149 [mailman] Good afternoon! 1030 01:23:47,018 --> 01:23:48,286 [Finney] Afternoon. 1031 01:23:50,456 --> 01:23:51,557 Whoa. 1032 01:23:51,590 --> 01:23:52,625 Hey. 1033 01:23:54,259 --> 01:23:55,461 I've got something for you. 1034 01:23:57,630 --> 01:23:58,664 There you go. 1035 01:23:59,397 --> 01:24:00,499 Thank you. 1036 01:24:00,533 --> 01:24:01,567 Good day. 1037 01:24:02,300 --> 01:24:03,669 Hyah. Come on. 1038 01:24:15,581 --> 01:24:17,683 - Is it for me? - From Schoharie County. 1039 01:24:21,487 --> 01:24:23,456 - Your Abigail. - Give that to me. 1040 01:24:23,489 --> 01:24:25,256 Give it. Finney, give... 1041 01:24:27,560 --> 01:24:28,561 Finney! 1042 01:24:28,594 --> 01:24:31,396 "What's to become of the thousands of our sex 1043 01:24:31,430 --> 01:24:33,164 scattered out in the wilderness 1044 01:24:33,198 --> 01:24:36,000 and obliged to tax our strengths? 1045 01:24:36,034 --> 01:24:37,636 I feel as if, at that selfsame hour 1046 01:24:37,670 --> 01:24:38,704 when our prospects were brightest, 1047 01:24:38,737 --> 01:24:41,440 that in the dim distance a black shadow approached. 1048 01:24:42,373 --> 01:24:44,275 And yet still, 1049 01:24:44,309 --> 01:24:46,612 imagine the happiest of unions for us of the sort 1050 01:24:46,645 --> 01:24:48,581 in which two families previously at daggers drawn 1051 01:24:48,614 --> 01:24:51,249 are miraculously brought together on love's account. 1052 01:24:56,755 --> 01:24:58,524 It is your face I bear through the night. 1053 01:24:58,557 --> 01:25:00,659 It is to you I devote a dreaming space 1054 01:25:00,693 --> 01:25:04,028 before I turn myself to sleep, but there is no sleep. 1055 01:25:04,062 --> 01:25:07,500 It's as if within me everything clamors for air, 1056 01:25:07,533 --> 01:25:09,635 and I think if it's like this now, 1057 01:25:09,668 --> 01:25:10,769 what will it be like later? 1058 01:25:12,170 --> 01:25:15,407 I send you what love and support I can. 1059 01:25:17,108 --> 01:25:19,143 I send you all my heart's hopes. Abigail." 1060 01:25:30,756 --> 01:25:32,424 [sheep bleating] 1061 01:25:44,436 --> 01:25:46,237 [Tallie] Please know that force alone 1062 01:25:46,271 --> 01:25:49,642 couldn't have gotten me here to a place like this. 1063 01:25:49,675 --> 01:25:53,779 I was told I had to act in support of interest, 1064 01:25:53,812 --> 01:25:58,817 happiness and the reputation of someone I once loved. 1065 01:26:01,219 --> 01:26:02,821 As far as I can figure, 1066 01:26:02,855 --> 01:26:05,824 we're now still only about 85 miles apart. 1067 01:26:07,325 --> 01:26:09,360 But of course, 1068 01:26:09,394 --> 01:26:11,764 people like us don't go on long visits. 1069 01:26:13,666 --> 01:26:16,669 [ominous music] 1070 01:26:48,199 --> 01:26:51,369 [Abigail] Dyer refused first to permit my departure, 1071 01:26:51,402 --> 01:26:52,838 and then to accompany me, 1072 01:26:55,239 --> 01:26:56,442 and only caught up to the cart 1073 01:26:56,475 --> 01:26:59,210 at the end of our property and climbed aboard. 1074 01:26:59,243 --> 01:27:00,278 [sighs] 1075 01:27:02,881 --> 01:27:05,784 We were the very picture of anguish, 1076 01:27:05,818 --> 01:27:08,119 rattling along side by side. 1077 01:27:09,822 --> 01:27:14,560 The night was fair and warm with the appearance of a coming rain. 1078 01:27:14,593 --> 01:27:15,661 A shower. 1079 01:27:17,830 --> 01:27:19,832 [tense music] 1080 01:27:41,620 --> 01:27:43,422 [horse whinnies] 1081 01:27:57,536 --> 01:27:59,538 [Tallie] It's so hard to write about 1082 01:27:59,571 --> 01:28:01,640 how much I want to thank you, 1083 01:28:01,674 --> 01:28:04,342 but I have to start somewhere. 1084 01:28:05,778 --> 01:28:07,846 Abigail... 1085 01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:12,985 I want to tell you that being with you, even alone, 1086 01:28:13,018 --> 01:28:16,588 has been like being a part of the biggest 1087 01:28:16,622 --> 01:28:21,827 and most spacious community I could ever imagine. 1088 01:28:21,860 --> 01:28:25,931 I feel closer to you than I would a sister since 1089 01:28:25,964 --> 01:28:28,299 everything amazing that I feel, 1090 01:28:29,501 --> 01:28:31,737 I chose to feel. 1091 01:28:34,506 --> 01:28:36,942 And do you know what memory it is that I most cherish? 1092 01:28:39,343 --> 01:28:43,347 It's of you turning to me with that smile you gave me 1093 01:28:44,750 --> 01:28:48,420 once you realized that you were loved. 1094 01:28:51,657 --> 01:28:54,893 I have no way of knowing what is to come, 1095 01:28:54,927 --> 01:28:58,497 but I do know that all of the trust 1096 01:28:58,530 --> 01:29:01,567 and care and courage we shared, 1097 01:29:02,801 --> 01:29:04,570 that will all shine on us 1098 01:29:05,938 --> 01:29:07,338 and protect us. 1099 01:29:09,373 --> 01:29:12,644 You are my city of joy. 1100 01:29:14,413 --> 01:29:16,715 You are my city of joy. 1101 01:29:18,382 --> 01:29:20,419 [dramatic music] 1102 01:29:48,480 --> 01:29:49,615 [Dyer] Whoa. 1103 01:29:57,089 --> 01:29:58,590 [Finney] Might I ask your business? 1104 01:29:58,624 --> 01:30:01,392 We've come to see Tallie. Where is she? 1105 01:30:01,426 --> 01:30:03,695 I heard you on the road. 1106 01:30:03,729 --> 01:30:05,864 You made such a racket. I took you for the tin knocker. 1107 01:30:05,898 --> 01:30:06,765 We've ridden for three days. 1108 01:30:06,799 --> 01:30:08,033 We are not leaving without seeing her. 1109 01:30:08,066 --> 01:30:11,103 I'm not concerned with what you will or will not leave without. 1110 01:30:11,136 --> 01:30:12,538 [Dyer] Keep a civil tongue, friend. 1111 01:30:12,571 --> 01:30:14,439 Where is she? 1112 01:30:14,473 --> 01:30:15,741 I treated her with tea of soot 1113 01:30:15,774 --> 01:30:18,410 and pine-tree root to good effect, 1114 01:30:18,443 --> 01:30:19,778 but sickness always tests our willingness 1115 01:30:19,812 --> 01:30:21,680 to bow before the greatest authority. 1116 01:30:22,948 --> 01:30:24,883 My guess is that it was diphtheria. 1117 01:30:24,917 --> 01:30:25,918 No! 1118 01:30:27,586 --> 01:30:29,421 [Finney] There is some alienation from marital... 1119 01:30:29,454 --> 01:30:31,590 [panting] 1120 01:30:38,530 --> 01:30:39,698 [sobs] 1121 01:31:02,554 --> 01:31:03,655 [sniffles] 1122 01:31:20,839 --> 01:31:23,642 [deep breathing] 1123 01:31:32,885 --> 01:31:34,920 [ominous music] 1124 01:31:37,022 --> 01:31:38,957 [heavy breathing] 1125 01:31:49,534 --> 01:31:50,669 What time is it? 1126 01:31:53,171 --> 01:31:54,439 I don't care. 1127 01:32:07,519 --> 01:32:10,088 - I have to go. - You're gonna make a mark. 1128 01:32:15,093 --> 01:32:17,396 [sobs] 1129 01:32:18,130 --> 01:32:19,164 Come on. 1130 01:32:20,666 --> 01:32:21,733 Come on. 1131 01:32:23,969 --> 01:32:25,037 Come on. 1132 01:32:36,181 --> 01:32:39,818 [church bell tolling] 1133 01:32:46,224 --> 01:32:48,126 [baby crying] 1134 01:32:56,034 --> 01:32:58,503 [somber music] 1135 01:33:14,886 --> 01:33:17,589 [Abigail] Sunday, August 31st. 1136 01:33:19,224 --> 01:33:21,159 Weather very hot and sunny. 1137 01:33:23,228 --> 01:33:25,163 I cleaned out the shed 1138 01:33:25,197 --> 01:33:27,699 which was full of rusty and dusty rubbish, 1139 01:33:28,633 --> 01:33:30,836 washed the windows, 1140 01:33:30,869 --> 01:33:32,804 and preserved apples for the winter. 1141 01:33:35,841 --> 01:33:38,844 Fourteen dollars from the sale of our milk and butter. 1142 01:33:41,179 --> 01:33:43,582 I have cut my hand with a paring knife. 1143 01:33:46,985 --> 01:33:49,755 I console myself with the conviction 1144 01:33:49,788 --> 01:33:51,890 that someday in the future when Dyer 1145 01:33:51,923 --> 01:33:55,560 is forced to travel to Syracuse for feed or supplies, 1146 01:33:56,828 --> 01:33:58,697 I will join him, 1147 01:33:58,730 --> 01:34:01,767 and take his rifle and go to Skaneateles 1148 01:34:01,800 --> 01:34:03,935 and kill Finney where he sits. 1149 01:34:11,109 --> 01:34:13,078 Dyer has been at work on the barn. 1150 01:34:19,117 --> 01:34:22,320 Each day, we enact our separation. 1151 01:34:27,192 --> 01:34:29,895 Sometimes after it gets dark, 1152 01:34:29,928 --> 01:34:32,898 we walk over the hills across our upper fields 1153 01:34:32,931 --> 01:34:34,599 for the wide, wide view. 1154 01:34:37,135 --> 01:34:39,871 And Dyer tries to imagine us as we were, 1155 01:34:42,641 --> 01:34:44,376 while I try to imagine Tallie 1156 01:34:44,410 --> 01:34:46,878 and that cordial and accepting home 1157 01:34:46,912 --> 01:34:49,014 that existed solely in our dreams. 1158 01:34:50,749 --> 01:34:53,885 I imagine Tallie and Nellie somewhere together, 1159 01:34:53,919 --> 01:34:56,655 and Nellie running her brush through Tallie's hair. 1160 01:34:58,824 --> 01:35:01,927 I imagine banishing forever those sentiments of my own 1161 01:35:01,960 --> 01:35:04,029 that she chastened and refined. 1162 01:35:06,865 --> 01:35:10,035 I imagine resolving to do what I can for Dyer. 1163 01:35:13,071 --> 01:35:15,907 And I imagine continuing to write in this ledger, 1164 01:35:17,375 --> 01:35:19,177 here, 1165 01:35:19,211 --> 01:35:20,979 as though this was my life. 1166 01:35:24,182 --> 01:35:26,351 As though my life was not elsewhere. 1167 01:35:28,053 --> 01:35:30,055 [somber music] 1168 01:35:46,938 --> 01:35:48,740 [sheep bleating] 1169 01:35:56,214 --> 01:35:57,249 [thumping] 1170 01:36:02,421 --> 01:36:04,923 I've always feared that I would bring misfortune 1171 01:36:04,956 --> 01:36:06,158 to those I loved. 1172 01:36:27,413 --> 01:36:29,415 Are you really saying nothing to that? 1173 01:36:33,519 --> 01:36:35,253 I don't know where to start. 1174 01:36:40,859 --> 01:36:44,196 I can't imagine what more we could do for one another... 1175 01:36:47,232 --> 01:36:49,034 with our constraints. 1176 01:36:50,168 --> 01:36:51,203 You can't? 1177 01:36:56,141 --> 01:36:57,209 I can't. 1178 01:37:04,483 --> 01:37:05,484 You can't? 1179 01:37:10,121 --> 01:37:11,790 [exhales] 1180 01:37:15,093 --> 01:37:16,127 Well, then... 1181 01:37:20,298 --> 01:37:22,867 It's a good thing we remember that our imaginations 1182 01:37:22,901 --> 01:37:24,769 can always be cultivated. 1183 01:37:26,304 --> 01:37:29,307 [dramatic music] 1184 01:38:10,858 --> 01:38:15,858 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 1185 01:38:41,279 --> 01:38:46,818 ♪ And well beyond ♪ 1186 01:38:48,019 --> 01:38:53,559 ♪ The world to come ♪ 1187 01:38:53,592 --> 01:38:59,030 ♪ I'll section my heart ♪ 1188 01:38:59,064 --> 01:39:05,070 ♪ For my own sympathies ♪ 1189 01:39:05,103 --> 01:39:10,909 ♪ And I believe ♪ 1190 01:39:10,942 --> 01:39:17,015 ♪ We shall receive ♪ 1191 01:39:17,048 --> 01:39:22,120 ♪ Surrendering hope ♪ 1192 01:39:22,153 --> 01:39:26,891 ♪ From a true sovereignty ♪ 1193 01:39:27,926 --> 01:39:32,598 ♪ It was like a dream ♪ 1194 01:39:33,566 --> 01:39:38,604 ♪ You came to be ♪ 1195 01:39:38,637 --> 01:39:44,242 ♪ Then happenstance drew you ♪ 1196 01:39:44,275 --> 01:39:48,481 ♪ Next to me ♪ 1197 01:39:49,548 --> 01:39:54,919 ♪ Are you the one ♪ 1198 01:39:54,953 --> 01:40:00,291 ♪ To whom I belong ♪ 1199 01:40:00,325 --> 01:40:06,465 ♪ And here stays resembling ♪ 1200 01:40:06,499 --> 01:40:12,237 ♪ My only song ♪ 1201 01:40:12,270 --> 01:40:16,542 ♪ In my world ♪ 1202 01:40:16,575 --> 01:40:20,646 ♪ To come ♪ 1203 01:40:23,214 --> 01:40:27,318 ♪ Fate to be ♪ 1204 01:40:27,352 --> 01:40:34,259 ♪ As morning sun ♪ 1205 01:40:34,292 --> 01:40:40,699 ♪ Deeply in your arm ♪ 1206 01:40:41,667 --> 01:40:47,172 ♪ To sweet lovers ♪ 1207 01:40:47,205 --> 01:40:51,610 ♪ Will succumb ♪ 1208 01:40:52,645 --> 01:40:56,381 ♪ Will succumb ♪ 1209 01:41:10,429 --> 01:41:14,533 ♪ Why if you were born ♪ 1210 01:41:15,601 --> 01:41:21,105 ♪ The winter's morn ♪ 1211 01:41:21,139 --> 01:41:26,077 ♪ Pair of wings carried thee ♪ 1212 01:41:26,110 --> 01:41:30,483 ♪ Back to me ♪ 1213 01:41:30,516 --> 01:41:35,721 ♪ To begin, it means ♪ 1214 01:41:35,754 --> 01:41:40,391 ♪ Constancy ♪ 1215 01:41:40,426 --> 01:41:45,664 ♪ Beholding the fathomless ♪ 1216 01:41:45,698 --> 01:41:49,735 ♪ Destiny ♪ 1217 01:41:51,236 --> 01:41:54,339 ♪ In my world ♪ 1218 01:41:55,240 --> 01:41:59,578 ♪ To come ♪ 1219 01:42:01,480 --> 01:42:05,049 ♪ Free to be ♪ 1220 01:42:05,083 --> 01:42:08,654 ♪ As one ♪ 1221 01:42:08,687 --> 01:42:12,791 ♪ In some sweet ♪ 1222 01:42:12,825 --> 01:42:18,831 ♪ Oblivion ♪ 1223 01:42:18,864 --> 01:42:24,503 ♪ To the sweet nights ♪ 1224 01:42:24,537 --> 01:42:28,407 ♪ Will succumb ♪ 1225 01:43:55,293 --> 01:44:00,799 ♪ And well beyond ♪ 1226 01:44:00,833 --> 01:44:05,771 ♪ The world to come ♪ 1227 01:44:05,804 --> 01:44:10,375 ♪ A deafening heart ♪ 1228 01:44:10,409 --> 01:44:16,280 ♪ Beats fast for thee ♪